Let's Unlearn Together

This month we’re exploring the idea of UNLEARNING. Think of it like tending to your garden and pulling out the weeds. Those weeds just appeared there. You didn’t plant them. You might like some of them, but most of them need to be culled.

This is exactly what we have to do as humans, but these weeds are thoughts, patterns, assumptions, and cultural practices that were handed to us. They often were planted in our minds as young people when our gardens--i.e., our minds and our psyches--were developing at such a fast pace with outside influences from media, our parents, teachers, etc.

Just like pulling weeds in a garden, we need to clear ourselves out of the things that don’t serve us. Here’s an exercise you can use to get started here.

 

What do I believe, think, say, or do? Where did I learn this? Hold the mirror up to your life and take stock of some of your beliefs, patterns, and habits that you’ve picked up along the way. Write them out. Include at least 10.

What of this doesn’t serve me? Am I cool with all of these? Do they support you in living the richest life possible? If you find some that don’t, strike a line through them.

What of this does serve me? Some of what you’ve learned probably does serve you. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!

 

And once you’ve gone through this exercise, you can also ask yourself:

What else do I want to plant in my garden? What are some areas you want to expand your own learning and development in, so as to have the richest life possible in terms of career, relationships, and well being? Make a list of these.

There is great media out there on this topic. Here are a couple of TED talks that look at unlearning from different angles. This one on unlearning for unleashing new depths of creativity. And this one on unlearning to create new breakthroughs and growth in career and everywhere.

Let’s shed some learning this month! It will help you clear the way for new possibilities.

If you want to go deeper with this, I’m available for complimentary consultations and coaching sessions. Schedule with me here or reach out to connect.

Sean is the CEO of Joy Riders, a company designed to help people find ways to create more joy within themselves and in their communities. He is a professional life and leadership coach, who leads trips of people around the world, loves to identify wildlife, and is a total map geek.

 

Taking the Reigns on Relationships

Oh hey, it’s February! In the U.S. it’s the month where drug stores stocked with heart shaped boxes filled with cheap chocolates and restaurants come up with their best prix fixe options to try and entice amorous patrons. What’s happening for Valentine’s Day where you are?!

It may be the month of love in some countries, but it’s a great time wherever you are to focus on relationships. All the kinds. The romantic ones. The short-lived “fun” flings. The familial ones that we try to avoid. The friend ones that we savor. Even the one with yourself.

It’s easy to take relationships for granted. We’ve all heard the saying “you never know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. It’s also easy to let our ego drive our relationships. And to be victimized by what our loved ones (or former loves ones) did or did not do for us. Here’s a few tips this month of love to help you craft fulfilling relationships in your life.

Get Your Needs Met

Relationship 101: Get your needs met. The things is, you never actually took Relationship 101! We just learn how to do relationships from the environment around us. From our parents. From the media we consumed. From our own emotional instincts that have us get a little wacky in moments. What I invite you to do this February is get really clear on what it is you need from relationships: family, friends, romantic. After you get clear on what you need, start with yourself: where can YOU fill your relationship needs. Then from there, be the person who is at a demand for having your needs met. It’s too easy to have them unmet and then to be victimized by this. Demand better of yourself.  

Creating the Relationships You Really Want

Okay, it’s fantasy time. Go ahead. Fantasize. What do you REALLLLLY want out of relationship. Yeahhh, picture that. Nice! Keep going. Got it? Awesome. Now, go and create that. Don’t let your stories of what is and is not possible let you off the hook. Be at a demand for the most delicious, rich relationships you can imagine. And if you have people in your life aren’t game for it, don’t be stopped by that. Maybe that means you’re dating someone you’ve got to let loose, or you have to reset your expectations of a sibling, parent, etc.  

Circle of Compassion

Warning: Kumbaya alert. No, but seriously. I’m just going to leave this quote from Albert Einstein right here:

      “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Life is relationships. Create them all with more compassion and more love. A good way to start is by trying out a practice to widen this circle of compassion, as Einstein references above. This Chopra Center blogpost gives you a few ways to start with this.

As you continue this month with WY_CO, take a look at where you can widen your circle of compassion and create more connection with the world around you. Maybe take yourself on a solo date. Take some time to reflect and do a relationship audit to get clear on your needs. I challenge you to be a creator of a world where we can all have fulfillment and connection, starting with YOU.

If you want to talk more about creating amazing relationships, I’m available for complimentary consultations and coaching sessions. Schedule with me here or reach out to connect.

 

Sean is the CEO of Joy Riders, a company designed to help people find ways to create more joy within themselves and in their communities. He is a professional life and leadership coach, who leads trips of people around the world, loves to identify wildlife, and is a total map geek.

 

Transformation 2018

If you could transform anything this year, what would it be? What part of your life do you want to look dramatically different 12 months from now? What aspect of your business, or the world? Or if dramatic changes aren’t your cup of tea, is there a new level of success or happiness you want to achieve?

I’m in the business of transformation, both the drastic grand ones and the incremental ones that summate to big changes over time. I help people get clear on what they want to transform, and then I help them operate from their best selves--their most fierce selves--to bring that transformation about. I believe people are capable of amazing things and have the power to transform elements of their lives and the world around them in astounding ways.

If you’re up for transformation this year, here are a few tips to support you.

Have a strong why. What’s the reason behind your transformation? Why do you want this? It’s important to make sure it has its roots in your soul’s deepest calling, and not in your ideas of what others expect of you. When we try and achieve things because we think that our loved ones--or strangers from social media--want or expect from us, we’re setting ourselves up for undue struggle.

Don’t do it alone. Oh, humans. Doing it alone is our go-to modality. People are astoundingly hesitant to ask for help, to let others in on what they’re trying to achieve, and to generally be vulnerable. Doing it alone is most likely your default. Try a new way. What could you transform if you stopped going through the world woefully under supported? Make some changes this year to beef up your personal support staff of friends and collaborators who are there to partner with you, hold you accountable, cheer you on, and get a coffee or a beer with you when you just want to BE.

Lean into the fun and the fear. If you find yourself in a situation that feels equal parts scary and invigorating, then...you’re on to something! Transforming aspects of our lives should be both of these things.

As usual with the We Roam community, I’m available for complimentary consultations and coaching sessions to look at your own transformation for this year. Schedule with me here or reach out to connect.


Sean is the CEO of Joy Riders, a company designed to help people find ways to create more joy within themselves and in their communities. He is a professional life and leadership coach, who leads trips of people around the world, loves to identify wildlife, and is a total map geek.

Stop. Drop. And Reflect.

In December, latitudes in the northern hemisphere experience the shortest amount of daylight in their annual trip around the sun. You won’t notice this much if you’re close to the equator, but it’s acutely felt when the sun dips below the horizon before 5 PM in Stockholm or Boston. It’s also the month that closes out the annual cycle of the Gregorian calendar; when people around the globe celebrate the arrival of a new year.

The natural rhythm of the calendar tells us to slow down. To take stock. To celebrate. And whether you’re in Indonesia or Morocco or Vietnam, it’s a good time of the year to seize this opportunity. It may provide a much needed recharge.

As a coach, I often experience my clients doing, doing, and doing. There’s always a race to do more along with an anxiety that maybe they’re not doing enough. And they don’t often allow much of a chance to pause and reflect on their progress or on what they’ve completed before barreling into the next thing.

As we enter this season of reflection, take the time to slow down and notice. Notice where you’ve been putting your energies. What you have created? What has worked well and what hasn’t? What you want more of and what no longer serves you? What can you CELEBRATE from this past year?

I invite you to actually use these prompts and questions from above. Get your head clear with some exercise or some time spent outside, and then plop yourself down at a cafe or at the beach (or in the shared workspace with some coffee or tea). Do it solo or with fellow Roamers. Taking time to reflect and get complete about how the last year went will give you a much cleaner slate from which to powerfully and joyfully step into the new year.

If you could use some coaching support to reflect, take stock, and powerfully create and tackle what is next, I’m available for complimentary consultations and coaching sessions. Schedule with me here or reach out to connect.

Sean is the CEO of Joy Riders, a company designed to help people find ways to create more joy within themselves and in their communities. He is a professional life and leadership coach, who leads trips of people around the world, loves to identify wildlife, and is a total map geek.